apols for cross and dull posting
I think I should apologise to you my readers ... and myself ... for having the world's dullest blog. I guess partly because my life is hardly inspiring, but there are no excuses.
At dinner the other night with J we were discussing laziness as I have more than a sneaky suspicion that I am lazy. She couldn't believe my evaluation but I am sure it is true. I mentioned a similar conversation I had recently with the pope, a councillor friend of mine. He told me about Suzy Orbach (my former upstairs neighbour in London)'s theory that there is no such thing as laziness but people who don't want things (hard enough). She proposed that what looks like laziness maybe the result of people growing up never being asked what they actually want. Their dreams went unaired, and as a consequence, they forget how to have desires or goals, or don't put much store in them. While I am not entirely sure that this actually constitutes laziness, it struck me that my parents gave us choices, but not really room to think up those choices. That is, they would ask us, do you want to swimming or play tennis ... not what do you want to do? Beside the fact they came up with the parameters, there was always pressure to prefer swimming as that was something I was heavily involved in.
Even now, when people ask me what do you want to do, I never know what to say. I don't have a life plan, and really I don't know if I want them. Things, up till now, have been pretty interesting, being pushed by the tide of affairs of men as J. Caesar (I think) Shakespeare has say. And sometimes when I have a dream like I would like to live facing the hills of Tokamaru, it doesn't occur to me that I could plan a path to get me there.
J said it struck a cord with her, too, for differing reasons. Her mother was unable during her childhood to afford the emotional or financial investment her children's dreams may have cost. J sees that as one of the reasons she drifted for quite a while, and the reason that her older and only brother is somewhat of a princess.
So I would like to plan for a better, happier more invested blog, but I am sorry I truly think I don't know how.
I can though in the interest of visual appeal, since the narrative of self presented here so far is less than rivetting, present some some indirect evidence of my existence. Below is proof that I have abandoned any plans of gardening and had not until yesterday entered my hothouse for oh 3 months:
well it appears that that little plan failed ....
At dinner the other night with J we were discussing laziness as I have more than a sneaky suspicion that I am lazy. She couldn't believe my evaluation but I am sure it is true. I mentioned a similar conversation I had recently with the pope, a councillor friend of mine. He told me about Suzy Orbach (my former upstairs neighbour in London)'s theory that there is no such thing as laziness but people who don't want things (hard enough). She proposed that what looks like laziness maybe the result of people growing up never being asked what they actually want. Their dreams went unaired, and as a consequence, they forget how to have desires or goals, or don't put much store in them. While I am not entirely sure that this actually constitutes laziness, it struck me that my parents gave us choices, but not really room to think up those choices. That is, they would ask us, do you want to swimming or play tennis ... not what do you want to do? Beside the fact they came up with the parameters, there was always pressure to prefer swimming as that was something I was heavily involved in.
Even now, when people ask me what do you want to do, I never know what to say. I don't have a life plan, and really I don't know if I want them. Things, up till now, have been pretty interesting, being pushed by the tide of affairs of men as J. Caesar (I think) Shakespeare has say. And sometimes when I have a dream like I would like to live facing the hills of Tokamaru, it doesn't occur to me that I could plan a path to get me there.
J said it struck a cord with her, too, for differing reasons. Her mother was unable during her childhood to afford the emotional or financial investment her children's dreams may have cost. J sees that as one of the reasons she drifted for quite a while, and the reason that her older and only brother is somewhat of a princess.
So I would like to plan for a better, happier more invested blog, but I am sorry I truly think I don't know how.
I can though in the interest of visual appeal, since the narrative of self presented here so far is less than rivetting, present some some indirect evidence of my existence. Below is proof that I have abandoned any plans of gardening and had not until yesterday entered my hothouse for oh 3 months:
well it appears that that little plan failed ....
posted by Ludovic at 1:13 PM
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