waiting for Pop -o

So I must be excited about my father's visit because I could have sworn that it was today that he was arriving. Now I have a feeling that he will be here when I am billeting the lecturer from the other campus for this bloody conference. So anyways I rush home at three because I had been held up by proofreading the program of the bloody thing, I caught a taxi in case pops was already there, and I had a ferw last minute things to finish off. That would be called tidying. okay spring cleaning. So I mopped and all that stuff that seemed like seconds ago when I did all that for the last visitors.
I wait. I watch a bit of the Olympics. I finish making the borshch just in case Pops has transformed himself into a dedyushka, which would be nice, I would like Russian speaking dad, moj djadja samy chesny pravil.... is for the first line of Evgeny Onegin is it not?

I digress, so nyet papa by 5:30. Maybe he stopped off tikitour about to show his English wife something about something or rather. (I know she is technically my stepmother but she has never mothered me since I met her just before Dad married her. But anyway, then the kayaking final is on so I don't worry. Then I get hungry and want to eat the borschch so I start to worry. Then I go outside for a cigarette because I am illogical and embarrassed that I smoke despite the fact I refuse to stop. I told you I was illogical... probably hadn't mentioned it here before even... So naturally I don't want the house to stink of smokes so I have left all the windows and doors open for the lasrt 24 hours even though it is only about 5 degrees... Then I notice that the path below the kitchen is wet. I notice this big metal lid thing that I have never really registered in anything but my lizard brain before. So I lift it up and there is this primordial ooze blupping and blooping and bubbling. I believe this phenomenon is called a blocked drain. And it stinks to buggery. So here I was worrying that my house would smell of smoke, and just outside the window is an incredible stench of well god I don't really know. Thanks to smoking I have failed to register this for months. So now I worry about my father's arrive and this stink.... And how to get rid of it. I prod it with a stick, and what looks like corn kernels floats to the surface. This is really disturbing as I refuse to eat corn. Why eat something that looks the same when it comes out as it did when it went in. This means that it has been here before I arrived truly primordial.

In the failing light I am aware of the awful consequences of not doing this right, so I decide to abandon the drain to its own gurglings and disturbing bubblings and go inside and settling on just worrying about my Dad, though a small part tries to think up ways to disguise the stench. Come up with nothing. Decide then to check my email to discover that my Dad is not due till tomorrow. Doh!